I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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