we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
