Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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