i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
