Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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