Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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