evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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