I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
