I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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