OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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