Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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