they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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