ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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