so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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