But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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