Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
