**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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