theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize