2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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