You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
