WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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