I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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