imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize