I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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