id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
