i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
