shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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