Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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