I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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