Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
