Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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