I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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