i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
