yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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