garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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