i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
