erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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