I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
