Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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