but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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