if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize