also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
