Say something about gay babies.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
