what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize