There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
