Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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