So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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