Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
