My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
