Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
