I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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