she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
