I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
