I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
