i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize