Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
