new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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