Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
