The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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