We're facebook friends in real life
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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