Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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