CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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