i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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