Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
