I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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