He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize