i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
