Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
