Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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