when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize