All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
