Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
