1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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