This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
